At the Crossroads: The Three Wise Monkeys: See No Evil, Hear No Evil, and Speak No Evil: The Invisibles

The story of the Three Wise Monkeys is a Japanese proverb focusing on associations of good mind, speech and action. The three monkeys are Mizaru, covering his eyes, who sees no evil; Kikazaru, covering his ears, who hears no evil; and Iwazaru, covering his mouth, who speaks no evil.  In the telling of the story sometimes there is a fourth monkey depicted with the other three.  This one Shizaru, symbolizes the principle of “do no evil.”  He is often shown crossing his arms.

In the Western world the ideology of the Three Wise Monkeys is often used to refer to those who deal with impropriety by turning a blind eye.  So returning to “The Invisibles,” understanding that our children having been sexually abused by a member of the clergy within the African-American community, what does this have to do with the Three Wise Monkeys?  

We of the African-American community of Seattle have become the embodiment of the Three Wise Monkeys.   We have knowledge and awareness of the following information:

           

1) In October 2012, a former member of the clergy of Tabernacle Missionary Baptist Church   pled guilty to 22 counts of sex abuse i.e. rape of child, child molestation, sexual exploitation of a  minor and possession of child pornography; and:  

            

2) The former minister confessed to sexually abusing 10 boys from 1997 to 2011; and

3) The children and adolescents were unwittingly delivered to him as they came into contact with him while he was holding various “positions of trust” i.e. foster parent, Boys & Girls Club youth supervisor and ministering in various churches activates and youth programs.  

We have the capability through social action to ensure that those victimized individuals and families receive validation and (if desired) mental health treatment.  We can hold our clergy accountable not only in the judicial system but in our community as well.  We can ensure that our children will be protected while being placed in the trust and guidance of those who are ordained and committed to our salvation.

And yet we choose to remain silent.  Recently in reviewing The Facts, the newspaper of the Seattle African American community, I read articles regarding community & church preparations for the upcoming holidays, pastoral celebrations and obituaries of the recently deceased.

And yet, there was not one word regarding “The Invisibles” i.e. the sexually abused boys and adolescents.   There are several questions to be asked:

• Why called these children the Invisibles?
• Why not refer to them as the 10 i.e. ten victims?
• Why are we i.e. the African-American community holding onto silence?

One, the children are referred to as the Invisibles because they are silent and thus unseen.  However the focus is on us, the adults who by our status as parents and adults are in the mentorship and modeling roles for our children.  We want them to be silent.  In their silence they merely “exist.”   In their existence, we hope that they in time will simply fade away.

As long as they are invisible, WE do not have to raise our heads.  We can continue tithing and seeking salvation.  We can go on pretending that all is well.  We can continue to lure ourselves into the fantasy that the sexual abuse by those to whom we have entrusted our children was an “aberration.”  An aberration that is never to occur again. 

The Invisibles are not referred to as the “10” because there is a STRONG probability that more than ten children were sexually abused by the former minister.  The ten boys and adolescents he admitted to abusing were the ones that the legal system can prove he actually abused.  It is highly likely that in 11 years of having open access to young males, this individual sexually abused more children than he has confessed to.

If indeed more than ten boys and adolescents have been abused then why have they not come forward?  Why are they silent?  Why indeed? 

It could be that they are mirroring or reflecting what is being felt within their community.  It could be that they are silent due to the concern of being labeled.  Finally it could be that they are silent due to fear.  Fear? Fear of what?

Fear of what others may think of them.  Fear of what they may question or think about themselves.  Guilt.  Shame. Humiliation.  The Invisibles may be silent for the very same reasons that the community is silent.  Guilt.  Shame. Humiliation. 

One of my favorite television shows is “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit.”  I recall in one episode portraying an African-American NBA figure publicly coming forward on national media acknowledging that his high school coach had repeatedly sexually abused him. 

In coming forward the star basketball player stated that he was utilizing this as an opportunity for other boys  & adolescents who were similarly abused to come forward.  Behind him stood his team of all African-American adult males with their hands on his shoulders, supporting him.  The embrace, love and support that they showed him brought tears to my eyes.

Yeah…. I know. It was “just” a television episode.  However it can be a model for the reality that is now occurring in our community.  We can make a stand for these children.  We can embrace them.  We can advocate for them.  We can do what we can to ensure these children know that they are indeed visible and more specifically, they exist and they are alive!

However to achieve this, the ending of “suffering in silence” we must first bring down the “wall of silence” that currently is a living, breathing thing lurking at will in our community.  We must want to respond to our own fear.  We must want to learn to “live with fear” and cease the current behaviors of “living in fear.” 

Today our community is drowning in fear.  The fear has resulted in “nonfeasance.”  Nonfeasance can be defined as the willingness to ignore and take no indicated action.  Specifically, it’s having knowledge and awareness of a specific occurrence and the deliberate choice of “taking no action.”

As I stated in my last writing of At the Crossroads,

“It would be easy to point the finger at someone or some organization to cast fault or blame.  However both blame and fault are poor motivators. Out of their ashes only guilt and shame will arise.  Rather it is our responsibility to our children that they be protected and safe.           We want them to understand that they are valued and will be validated and cared for.  They need not suffer in silence any longer.”

I would encourage the reader to take the following action(s):

1)             Contact Reverend Robert Lee Manaway, Pastor, Tabernacle Missionary Baptist Church 2801 South Jackson Street, Seattle, WA 98144  (206) 329-9794

Inquire as to what actions are being taken to respond to and/or alleviate the suffering of those abused by a member of his staff.

2)             Contact the United Black Clergy Association of Seattle.  (Contact can be initiated via the local African-American churches of Seattle.

Inquire as to what the organization is doing to assist Tabernacle Missionary Baptist Church to respond to this situation.  Furthermore, inquire as to what the organization is doing to prevent and respond to sexual abuse within the African-American church.

3)             Contact your spiritual leader and inquire what your religious or spiritual organization, church, mosque, temple, or synagogue can do to assist the victims of clergy sexual abuse.

4)             Share this writing of At the Crossroads and the previous ones with others.  Ask that they also make inquiries into the issues that have been addressed.

Returning to the ideology of the “Three Wise Monkeys,” as stated earlier, in the telling of the story there is a fourth monkey, Shizaru, who is shown crossing his arms symbolizing “do no evil.”   In our community evil has already been done.  We can become Shizaru and work to create wellness in our community, beginning with those who “suffer in silence.”

 “I Believe I’ve Been Blue Too Long”

All around me there’s a solid wall.

A wall of trouble and confusion, I done tired of it all.

I believe, I believe I’ve been blue too long.

                                    B.B. King & David Clark

                                    (1971) Universal Duchess Music

At the next crossroads: Betrayal Trauma: The Impact of Living in Fear

Until the next crossroads.  The journey continues…

At The Crossroads: “Suffering in Silence”

In September, 2012, a former minister and church musician of Tabernacle Missionary Baptist Church pleaded guilty to 22 charges of sexual molestation of boys.  The Seattle Times reported that the minister admitted to sexually abusing 10 boys from 1997 to 2011. 

According to the article, he pled guilty to charges that included rape of a child, child molestation, sexual exploitation of a minor and possession of child pornography.  At the time of writing Crossroads, the minister had not received sentencing for his criminal acts.

The focus of this writing is not about the minister.  Rather, the focus is on the boys and young men who were victimized by his criminal behavior.  The minister cannot be type -casted as a pedophile lurking around the school playground.  Rather, the children and adolescents were unwittingly delivered to him.  He came into contact with his victims through holding “positions of trust” in various roles, such as foster parent, Boys & Girls Club youth supervisor and participation in various church activities and youth programs.  

Although the minister will no doubt be held accountable by the judicial system for his criminal acts, my concern lies with what will become of his victims.  After reviewing numerous articles, I was unable to find any mention or discussion of clinical/mental health services being provided to the group that I will simply refer to as the Invisibles. 

One may ask, “Why are they being referred to as the Invisibles?  Why indeed?  Where are they?  What has become of them?  What are their stories?  What can we learn so this terrible, terrible suffering can be prevented from occurring to a child/adolescent again?

There are organizations such as SNAP (Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests) that advocate on behalf of those victimized by the Roman Catholic Clergy.  Such organizations have websites, blogs and are able to call upon national and local media attention to the sufferings of this group.  However, when similar tragedies occur within the African-American community, there appears to be token media coverage and silence among other African-American clergy.  Perhaps the other clergy is thanking the Lord that it didn’t happen in their churches.

There is the silence that permeates throughout the community; rumors, gossip and inadequate information are afoot.  Whose child was it?  Sadly, it may be that the community has joined the clergy in thanking the Lord that it didn’t happen to their children.

Well folks, guess what?  It did happen in a church in “our” community.  It did happen to “our” children.  Our sons have suffered from sexual assault, violence and betrayal.  In our “silence” the suffering of our children continues.

To those who may ask, “Well Dr. Kane, what do you plan on doing about it?  Why don’t you get involved?”  To that question, my reply is I am involved!  I have not been nor will I be silent on this issue.

In October I wrote the Pastor of Tabernacle Missionary Baptist Church about my concerns.  Here are some excerpts from the correspondence:

·      “It has been my experience that males may have difficulty responding to or processing feelings related to sexual abuse.  I am also aware of the lack of certified/licensed clinicians who respond to this issue within the African-American community.”

·      I would like the opportunity to meet with you and your church leadership to discuss the possibility of providing services to members of your congregation.

·      I encourage you to visit my websites:  lovingtheself.com and/or mkaneassoc.com, which may address preliminary questions you and others may have about my services.

Today, I have yet to receive a response.  In early November, I followed-up with an email and was told by an executive staff assistant that I could send my brochures and business cards, which would be placed in view of the church congregation.

“Placed in view” on a table?  Doesn’t sound like an acknowledgement that serious problems exists or being addressed.  The message, which may comes across, is “be quiet”, “don’t talk about it” and/or “it will die down or go away.”

It won’t die down and it most certainly won’t go away.  Remember the Invisibles?  They are alive.  They suffer in silence.  It is in our silence that they “exist.”

They can be likened to lambs being led to slaughter.  They were sent to a person that they were told could be trusted.  Instead he betrayed them.  He violated them.  He stole their innocence and now, if the church is not dealing directly with the victims, the lack of validation and recognition by their clergy and community violates them further.  It is not their silence.  It is our silence.  It is not their shame.  It is our shame.  Our silence is a cold shoulder/backside.  They are our children and they have done nothing wrong.

We can do right by them and for them.  We can ensure that they (if wanting) receive mental health treatment.  We can acknowledge them.  We can validate them.  We can embrace them.

I belong to a professional organization, i.e. the Washington State Society of Clinical Social Workers.  These are wonderful people who are committed to providing services in the local communities.  It is possible that my colleagues could provide assistance and respond to these tragic occurrences. 

I reach out to them.  However, this will be extremely difficult if we continue to allow silence to speak for us.

I would encourage the reader to take the following action(s):

1)             Contact Reverend Robert Lee Manaway, Pastor, Tabernacle Missionary Baptist Church 2801 South Jackson Street, Seattle, WA 98144, (206) 329-9794.  Inquire about actions being taken to alleviate the suffering of those abused.

2)             Contact the United Black Clergy Association of Seattle (contact can be initiated via the local African-American churches of Seattle).  Ask what the organization is doing to assist Tabernacle Missionary Baptist Church with the situation.  Inquire as to what the organization is doing to prevent and respond to sexual abuse within the African-American church.

3)      Contact your spiritual leader and inquire what your religious or spiritual organization, church, mosque, temple or synagogue can do to assist the victims of clergy sexual abuse.

It would be easy to point the finger at someone or some organization to cast fault or blame, but blame and fault are poor motivators.  Out of their ashes only guilt and shame arise.  It is our responsibility to our children that they be protected and safe.  We want them to understand that they are valued and will be validated and cared for.  They need not suffer in silence any longer.

We can learn to empower the self through vocal advocacy and expression
and in doing so, bring an end to the traumatic pain of “suffering in silence.”

I will not be silent!

Dr. Micheal Kane

Until the next crossroad, the journey continues……….

At The Crossroads: Victory at the London 2012 Olympics: Is it all about the Hair?

Well after a seven-month hiatus, I am returning to writing Crossroads.  I took time off to respond to major transitions in my life including the passing of my mother and refocusing my clinical work from the University of Washington to practice private.  The change in work now allows for time to provide healthcare to my beloved spouse, my Linda.

The death of my mother was a great loss to me.  She was one classy lady.  She passed away early this year on Valentine’s Day.   In her lifetime she saw the integration of African-American women and men in the armed forces (1948).  Furthermore she lived to observe African-American women achieve history by being first in various categories.  In the decades beginning from her birth (sunrise) to her death (sunset) she was able to observe the following achievements:

·    Otelia Cromwell, first African-American female to receive a doctoral degree from Yale University (1926)

·    Mary McLeod Bethune, first African-American to head a federal agency, National Youth Administration (1938)

·    Hattie McDaniel, first African-

American to win an Academy Award, Best Supporting Actress, Gone with the Wind (1940)

·    Leontyne Price, first African-American to appear in a telecast opera, the NBC’s predication of Tosca (1956)

·    Patricia Roberts Harris, first African-American woman Ambassador of the United States, Luxemburg (1965)

·    Shirley Chisholm, first African-American to campaign for the US presidency in a major political party and to win a US presidential primary,  Democratic Party New Jersey primary (1972)

·    Vanessa L. Williams, first African-American to win the crown of Miss America (1983)

·    Dr. Mae Jemison, first African-American woman astronaut, Space Shuttle Endeavour (1992)

·    Condoleezza Rice, first African-American woman to be appointed National Security Advisor to the President of the United States (2001) and first African-American woman to be appointed Secretary of the US State Department (2005)

·    Michelle Obama, first African-American First Lady, wife of the first African-American President of the United States (2009)

Unfortunately, my mother did not live to see the 2012 London Olympic Games in which Gabby Douglas became the first African-American to win the gold medal in the gymnastics category of “Women’s Individual All-Around Final.” 

I know had she lived to see this great occasion, she would have been proud of Gabby.  She would have understood the challenges and sacrifices that this young woman made when in her early adolescence, she left her family and moved 1500 miles away to live with a Caucasian family to pursue her dreams of becoming an Olympic competitor. 

My mother, in remembering sending her own children off to battle during the integration of white-only schools, would have understood the sacrifices and struggles Gabby’s mother had to endure so her daughter could attain a moment never before achieved by a female of her race.  

Although my mother missed this great moment in history, I am glad she was not here to witness the embarrassing and shameful behavior of African-Americans who chose to humiliate Gabby by focusing not on her great achievement, but rather on downgrading her because of their “lack of satisfaction” with how she wore her hair.

My mother would have been shocked (as I and many others were) that people were focusing on Gabby’s perceived “bad hair” or “lack of hair grooming.”   Having resided in the southern United States, my mother would had chalked this up to “ugly, ignorant talk” and the ravings of “racist folk” attempting to keep a “hard working sista” down.

My mother’s face would have frozen in utter disbelief to find out that such negative ugly words and behavior came from African-Americans.   The question being asked by many is why?  Why would we engage in such behavior?

In discussions with African-Americans regarding this incident, I have heard opinions that the hair comments were ignorant, stupid and without class, etc., made by individuals who hide behind the anonymity of the internet and therefore they should be discounted.  Yet, the hair comments have served to emotionally wound one courageous woman and have the potential to hinder others who seek to follow their dreams and passions. 

African-Americans historically have been under pressure to succeed.  We have fought for the right to serve and die in our nation’s military even if it meant the humiliation of serving in segregated units.  We have fought for the right to contribute and be represented in all sectors of American life and society. 

Today’s generation of African-American youth represents past and present commitments to accept the challenge of “being the first”, “affirming the race” and “representing us” at all times.   Many of us are grateful and appreciative of these valuable commitments. 

Regretfully, there will always be those who will look for the negative and search for reasons to put another person down instead of identifying the positive and lifting the person up.  Those who feast on the bandwagon of negative imagery will find the taste to be either bland or bittersweet.  Substance will always reveal beauty and character.

I know if my mother would have been alive to witness Gabby’s accomplishments, she would have embraced her and lifted her up as if she were her daughter.  Because she is. 

She is our daughter, our sister and our Gabby.   We are extremely proud of her. 

 

By the way, no, it is not all about the hair.  It is about commitment, hard work and dedication of the athlete, her family and her community.

It is about Gabby and her success.

Go Gabby go!!

Until the next Crossroads.